Some people aren't going to like you


I had a realisation the other day that to fully show up on MY terms, living up to MY potential, doing what lights ME up, it meant I might have to upset a few people.

Not as in, go out of my way to do or say things that intentionally make people feel bad – that’s not my style.

But that just the act of being me would be upsetting to some people (weird, huh? That we can be upsetting to people just for existing!).

Just reaching for me, showing up as me, sharing my beliefs and values…that might be enough to ruffle some feathers.

And it’s not because I’m particularly controversial…well, I don’t believe I am anyway. I guess my message might sound completely weird to some people.

The idea that we create our realities…

The idea that we’re responsible for how we show up and what we make of our lives…

The idea that we can choose how we respond to others and not allow ourselves to be derailed because of what others do or say…

None of that seems particularly controversial or weird to me, but I guess I’ve been slowly building those beliefs and integrating that into my life for years.

So yeah, I guess I might annoy some people on my quest to fully expressing my message, reaching my potential and generally maximising the hell out of my life…

And although that sucks (because I’d still love for everyone to like me and what I do)…I realised I’m going to have to find a way to be OK with that.

To accept that my message won’t be for everyone.

To accept that I can’t force people to share my view or to take responsibility for their emotions or to choose to step up in life and reach for more than mediocrity (because each one of us was born to flourish!).

We each make our own choices, after all.

But by letting those worries about upsetting other people influence how I show up and how committed I am to living life on my terms, I’m giving away my power.

I’m letting other people control me and dictate what’s possible in my life. People whose opinions I don’t even really value (why do we do that, care more about what people who we don’t even really know or like control how we’re willing to show up?!).

So now I’m shifting my focus to releasing (because it’s ALWAYS about releasing) those concerns I’ve held for my entire life about upsetting others by being me as if I should somehow be something else to make other people feel more comfortable about themselves.

Wow, why do we do that? As I’m writing this it’s just occurred to me that that’s the most ridiculous thing anyone could do.

Apologise for being them.

Be ashamed of being them.

Try to be someone else to please other people.

And what if while you’re being that other person to please others, someone else comes along and doesn’t like that version of you?

What are you going to do then? Become someone different for them, too? Just to make sure they like you?

How exhausting!

Nope, I think the only solution here is to just fully commit to being yourself, trusting that what you’ve come here to do and be and say is exactly what the world needs and if someone doesn’t like that, then that’s awesome and they’re free to move on and find other things they do like.

I am who I am and I’m me and I can’t be anything else. That’s my choice. Like it or leave it. That’s your choice.

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Hertfordshire, UK

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